Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Feb. 27, 2012: Lorianna, George's sister?

Hello,
I am Lorianna Evgeniya Conory, from DanvillePennsylvania. I am 27 years old 5' 7 inchs tall black hair,brown eyes.I am sorry,I am an Orphan who has No body...I'm in a terrible situation out here now.My Both parents divorced before they died my mum died of hypertention of too much pressure from my dad's relation and I have no body to take very good care of me. right now,I'm in Nigeria, in the hospital for some reasons, but I am ok now(I have been here for 5days now), but I dont have any money to pay for the hospital Bill and the Hospital Authority seized my travelling document from me.plz i have all my passport, flight ticket back to the States. all i need is just a man who can help me out of this mess so that i can come over to him if he care to help me(I'm in a terrible mess now) I dont care coming back home as soon as possible, I mean every bit of what I have just told you,I'm serious about it......... I am single and a young lady from a good and well trained home. so i am looking for a cool loving and caring man, though I am new I am also new on the internet so I need a real man with sense caring, and an intimate one thank you very much.May God bless you.Thanks so much.Please, I wouldnt want you to be kinda scared about helping me,Please..if there is any thing you still care to ask please just feel free and ask me i shall be here waiting .You can please just write me at my private Email Addy :l@yahoo.com I will also send you my picture when next I'm writting you .
Thank you for the understanding and God Bless.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Lorianna E.C.

Feb. 27. 2007: Dance the disco

Busy day today--the Great Wall, then dubbed four cartoons. This is part of what I had to record today--had me in stitches, kept having to stop as I was laughing my head off:

Pizza at Jane's with Jane, Simon and Andy--great fun and delicious! Routed out the remaining nine planks, painted three sticks, swept and mopped the floor in anticipation of tomorrow's floor-laying. Routing away:

Dodo has peed on the new (as yet unvarnished) floor. Cats have peed AND pooped in the routing wood shavings. Amanda has managed to use the toilet EVERY time. Why can't they just go outside? Aaaaarrrrrggghhhh. Ah, well, I shall sand out Dodo's evidence and have swept/mopped the cats leftovers up.
This photo I took Sunday morning while walking the dogs. A-ma gave me a cabbage from her garden as we were heading home. I have titled this photo "A Woman, Her Dogs and A Cabbage."

To bed!

Feb. 16, 2007: D'Oh

Ok, a part of cleaning the house is changing the sheets. I took off the old sheets and threw them on the floor. Later I came up with the new sheets rolled into a ball as I had just taken them in from the line. I put the new sheets on and took the dirty ones downstairs to wash.

Another task completed.

Just now I popped into my bedroom to put some books away. Suddenly I stopped what I was doing and looked at the bed. Yip, I had put the DIRTY sheets back on and the CLEAN sheets in the laundry basket, ready to wash.

Smooth move, Exlax.

February 4, 2007: Home and humour


Here's the fireplace and sofa where I was doing my 'lady of leisure' impression. To the left of the photo you can just make out the outline of Xiao Man Tou ('little steamed bun', a most inappropriate name for my biggest, fattest cat.) In front and to the left of the fire is Dodo, curled up on a quilt. (And yes, my walls are striped in red and orange. There are also pink and yellow stripes a little further down.)
I visited Kitty early Sunday evening. He has become very mellow in the last little while. We had a full-on love and purring session which we both enjoyed.
Then I went over to Jane's. I joined Andy, Simon and Charlie who were finished dinner and hanging out. We admired the 5 pairs of flip-flops that Charlie and Jane had bought. Yes, 5 pairs. You see, they were on sale AND they are going to Kenya next week AND summer is coming. The 'Reef' flip flops were nice but it was hard to get really excited about them...
Today I recorded a workbook in the morning and 5 shows for Enjoy. I got the giggles pretty bad a couple of times, we were all feeling a little silly. It was fun. Then I went to the dentist to have my crown fitted. That was less fun. If all goes well he'll glue it in forever next Monday.
Gosh, what a dull blog. I'll leave you with a bit of humor:
"These terrorism warning pictures are taken from a US government website. The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations."
Apparently, these images are considered 'sensitive material' and thus I am not able to copy them onto my blog. It's a pity because they are extremely funny. So here is something I copied from someone else's blog a few weeks back however I didn't note down who it was. (Bowzer, was it you?) Please let me know so I can credit your fabulous wit!
If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when " Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever -- not scripted. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.